The first thing I do when I begin working with someone is sit down and ask them their goals, I take their weight and body fat and we talk about why they want to work with me in the first place.
"I want to lose weight, tone up and be healthy" is pretty much the initial response I get. Basic. No depth. People tell me that at first because they don't want to expose their insecurities, but I see right through it and dig deeper. I'll ask why, do they have an event, a wedding coming up? Sometimes that is the answer and that is pretty self explanatory- wanting to look your best as you walk down the aisle makes sense, but I don't only work with brides and grooms, I would be broke as a joke if that was the case.
I continue to ask questions, because that's my job and that's who I am. Anyone who I'm friends with in real life knows that I'm wide open, I keep it "real" so to speak, uncensored and I like a good conversation. I'm genuinely interested in people, I love to listen just as much as I love to talk and that's what makes me great at what I do. Personal training is, well, personal so in order for me to train my clients in the best way possible I have to know them, who they are, what makes them tick.
After 5-10 minutes minutes of asking the same question in about 10 different ways the wall starts to fall down a little bit, and they start grabbing their belly fat and telling me about their flabby arms and wanting to get back in shape because they just broke up, or they were always picked last in gym class, or they want to build muscle to impress their cute coworker, or they're depressed and need something to help them get out of a slump, or they need to be on point for an upcoming show.
And although I know that anyone and everyone- celebrities and professional athletes included- can improve their physical appearance and athletic capabilities I sometimes ask myself why certain people have sought out my services. Believe me, I appreciate their business, but sometimes catch myself wondering how such an athletic and good looking person comes to me with such insecurities.
I work with some women who have great bodies, dime pieces, could be models, curves in all the right place, no cellulite, flat stomach, already toned, who look in the mirror and say that their shoulders are too broad or that their legs are too skinny or their boobs are too big. I work with guys who have poppin 6 packs and say that they feel weak and undefined. And sometimes I even catch myself wishing, if only my thighs were a little tighter, my arms a little more sculpted, my abs a little flatter.
It's easy to indulge in feeling bad about yourself, but it won't get you anywhere. The worse you feel about yourself the worse you treat yourself. You'll end up eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's 3 nights a week and it just ends up being a vicious cycle that never ends. Nobody is perfect and even someone who appears to be perfect sees flaws. We all feel down from time to time, but that shouldn't be the way you feel all the time.
When it comes to fitness, you can't just focus on the looks, you'll go crazy if you haven't already. Your goal should be to achieve, to do 5 more pushups this week, to improve your 5k race time by 1 minute, to get up to your 5th floor walk up without losing your breath and the improved looks will come. It's a package deal; get better at doing something in the gym and you'll look better as a result. Make fitness strictly about fitness and you'll end up looking better than you thought you ever could - I know this first hand.
So in the meantime stop criticizing yourself so much and accept the fact that you are amazing just the way you are! You're not perfect and that's okay, and your recent crushes' ex girlfriend who's always posting swimsuit selfies on Instagram isn't perfect either. We're all imperfect but that's what makes us special, that's what gives us our uniqueness, our look, our "thing" that no one else has. So stop being being so hard on yourself and go hard in the gym instead. Eat clean, get your sleep, drink water, workout like a beast and trust that there is more than one person out there who thinks you have a bangin body and would love to grind up on ya in the club all night long!
That's all I got for now. Go check out my YouTube channel and Instagram page for more fitness stuff!