Saturday, July 6, 2013

Strippers and Love

This blog is a fucking mess. I kinda like it that way tho. It's nice to think that I get paid a little bit to post as well. Didn't see that coming. But anywho. I've decided today that this blog is going to be dedicated to my ramblings, nothing more (because I don't have too much more to offer than that) and nothing less.

If I could go back in time I would probably not expose my identity, only because I hate letting people in. Even as write I cringe at the thought of sharing this post, so I figure it's probably good for me to share.

I know it's not a big deal to pour your heart on out on the internet for a bunch of strangers and a few old classmates you haven't spoken to in years to see. (hope you caught that sarcasm) But really.

I admire all the people who keep it real on the internet and expose their insecurities, flaws and embarrassing moments.  We all do. We're drawn to them. Because they seem to have something we don't have. Which is the ability to not give a fuck and make it worthwhile.

You see I was born with a special not giving a f*ck gene that has carried me throughout all the crazy and daring moments in my life, but somehow when I go to share things online I freeze up. But at the same time that's why I love to do it. It's a rush, the fear, avoidance and unexplainable obligation I feel to post is my drug. Well one of them. Totally kidding. Calm down, I don't do drugs.

You see, the internet puts people in their place. Everyone is going to be able to find out what you're up to - if you're doing well or not doing shit at all. I've done things just to be able to post a picture on Facebook  or Instagram or Twitter and get likes, but is that really so bad?

I think it's time that people got a little more real, a little more bold and less scared to share their stories and be open and honest with the world. I figured out a long time ago that it doesn't pay to hold things in, eventually you'll burst.

You gotta use your struggles, your stories of triumph and trial and error to make the world a better place. Otherwise you're just wasting space (and probably working a job you hate because you haven't explored your passions and found a way to provide value in a lucrative and fulfilling way).

Everyone claims to be real yet has these locked up profiles on private, with stiff uncreative pictures of themselves and their "friends" - how about you post what you really want to post instead of the bullshit politically correct stuff that everyone else is posting.

Stop being like everyone else. Stop trying to fit in and just do you. Whatever that may be. If you truly want to be a boring typical member of society with no real goals, no real drive or ambiton

I know I can be a harsh bitch. It's my gift and curse. But I'm gonna keep running with it, it's what I do. So that's all I got for now.

Sunday, April 7, 2013

fun moments (un edited)

my favorite moments are the ones that you know must come to an end. dating the guy you know is no good for you. chugging your 5th beer for the night. staying up until 3am when you have to be up at 7 the next day. the moments that you swear are the reason you're alive yet really do nothing for your existence.

But these superficial moments, the bike rides through central park, the zip lining through the national park,scuba diving in Mexico, they mean something. Those are the moments that you are really living, that you are really awake and alive and experiencing all the joy this life has to offer.

I firmly believe that. We work hard to play hard. make money just to spend it. and if that's all there is to life then I've done a good job.

Sometimes I think back on all the moments I could've caught on film, the outfits that turned heads, the conversations that made my mind race. and I wish I could share them with you. but I can't, and that's what makes them all the more wonderful. knowing that the time you spent can never be duplicated or re experienced, that everything was panned out in perfect timing to create a particular mood or feeling that you manifested.

You see I believe that you can have whatever you want and if you don't know what you want you're still going to end up in the crazy little pictures you painted in your head.

our imaginations carry more weight in our actuality than we give credit for and that is a fact. I on the other hand must be up at 5am. It's 10:26pm on a Sunday night, and I just came from a Thai resturant and before that I was at brunch popping bottles with some cool promoters and party people, and before that one of my friends from college fed me pancakes, and before that I was cleaning my cute little harlem 1 bedroom.

I can't believe all that happened in a day, but I'm glad I did. I needed the alcohol, the sugar and extra calories. The chance to wear exactly what I wanted and be praised for it instead of judged. The chance to put on a full face of makeup and run around Manhattan looking for a good time. These are the moments I live for, and if that's all I got, at least I can say I had fun.

Well that's all I Got for now. I'm off to bed,

xoxo, drunkly yours


Wednesday, October 3, 2012

How To Be Confident

I have a medium sized list of tangible achievements. Landing big roles in high school plays, beating my own personal records in cross country races, I've earned scholarships, graduated from college, became a certified personal trainer, moving to NYC.  Blah, blah blah the list goes on.

But it's not these "accomplishments" that made me confident. I was confident therefore I achieved.

And I started to think about all the times I got what I wanted, I think about how I was so self assured. I'm not just talking about the big stuff like getting a job or an apartment. I think about the little things like how I was able to get a cab driver to take me somewhere for 10 dollars cheaper than he should've charged me, or how I was able to get in a club where I didn't know anyone at the door before all the people waiting in line, or how I can get pretty much any guy I want to wine and dine me and chase me for months on end without giving him so much as hug goodnight.

(My number 1 confidence jam)

And then I think about all of the times I failed and how it was pretty much a self fulfilling prophecy. All the times I've been rejected from jobs, or on my YouTube channel, or failed a test. Every single time I've been rejected or let down it's because I didn't think I was good enough, and that's definitely not the case the majority of the time, but it was in those moments of self doubt when I failed. You see where I'm going with this?

True confidence cannot be faked, that's called cockiness. True confidence comes from believing in yourself so much that other people will believe in you too. So how does one become confident? Why should you believe in yourself?

The real question is, why shouldn't you?

The most important step to be confident is to think positively. Stop saying I can't, instead say I will. Try it before you give up on it. So many times we tell ourselves we can't do something or that we shouldn't do something because we're afraid to fail, when in reality the only way you fail is by not trying. Write down a list of all the things you like about yourself and keep it somewhere where you can see it everyday. Just for a day let go for the fear and self doubt you've been clinging onto for so long and realize you're not so bad after all.

Decide that you are worthy of a great and wonderfully fulfilled life - not that you necessarily deserve it, but that you are worthy. Quite frankly you don't deserve anything you didn't earn. Just know that you as a person are worth great things and you can have whatever you work for. You were put on this planet for a reason, you have a purpose to serve.

But don't just talk about it, BE ABOUT IT. When you are engaged, and passionate and doing what you love something inside of you shifts. You feel alive, you feel assured, you feel as if you can do anything and no one can stop you. That's your confidence building up.

It's only when you start taking action and working on becoming a better person (or at least good at a certain task or trade) that you will be in a position to provide value to the world. When you bring value to the world is when you can start demanding certain privileges and treatment. Value doesn't always mean something you can make money from. Being a good listener, an upbeat person, a reliable friend; all these things add value to your life and the value you will be able to bring to others. You get what you give.

Looking good most certainly helps with confidence, and of course as a personal trainer I'm going to tell you to get in shape, walk tall and take care of yourself. Self grooming and having your own personal style matter, your outside is a direct reflection of what's inside, one does not outweigh the other. Think about the most confident people you know, they are probably some of the best looking people you know too. Healthy body = healthy mind = looking good = feeling good= doing good = confidence.

Make promises to yourself and keep them. If you make a promise to someone else keep it. Set standards, set the bar high and dedicate yourself to being the best version of you.

Being confident is not just state of mind, it's not just for celebrities and people who are in the limelight, being confident is a way of life. Waking up each day and being ready to go, ready to overcome obstacles and knowing that you are that bitch ( at least that's what I tell myself). Know your worth and know that you are awesome, be proud of how far you've come and excited to see how far you can go, don't be afraid to brag on yourself,stay humble and open to growth. Live and breathe that ish!

(Dancing like everyone is watching, that's real confidence lol )

And there you have it, my ideas on how to be confident in a nutshell. Hope you enjoyed =)

That's all I got for now.



Tuesday, September 25, 2012

20 Fun Ways to Get Some Cardio In This Fall

Ahh, it's officially fall and it's never felt so good! The crisp breeze, the colorful leaves on all the trees, and it's the perfect time to get some cardio in without worrying about heat exhaustion and hideous sports bra tan-lines. Let's get that heart rate up!!

That's all I got for now.



Friday, August 17, 2012

Get Over Yourself and Start Living Already

A lot of people are afraid to tap into their potential and be the best version of themselves, and if everybody did the world would be full of great people doing big things. We’d all be happy, healthy, financially stable and no one would be suffering, but that’s clearly not the case. And if I would of read something like this 3 or 4 years ago I would probably get squeamish - actually I wouldn’t have read something like this 3 or 4 years ago because I was too busy partying and pretending to do homework. Nothing wrong with that, but my point is that sooner or later it’s time to grow up.

Don’t get it twisted though, growing up doesn’t mean you have to put on a suit everyday and stop laughing at silly jokes and act like life is just one big serious ordeal. Growing up means realizing that you were given certain gifts and strengths to utilize to make the world a better place. See, everyone is good at something, everyone has something they like to do, and everyone has a dream. Most people aren’t living their dreams though, and it’s actually quite upsetting and perplexing to me. 

I’ve gathered that most people are just kinda scraping by at some job that they really don’t like at all. Wearing what everyone else is wearing, doing what everyone else is doing, always worrying what other people are thinking about them and trying to so hard to ignore that nagging voice inside their head that keeps trying to tell them to stop caring so much and just live. It's a pretty common theme; the result of fear and lame excuses. I’ve spent countless hours reading blog posts about people who couldn’t take it anymore and decided to actually live their dreams instead of wasting away behind a cubicle (no offense if you actually like your cubicle), and I decided that I wanted to contribute, although I’m not exactly where I’d like to be yet.

You see, I’ve haven't quite felt the feelings that I’ve just described to you because I don't try to surpress my inner desires, but I can empathize because I know what it’s like to feel fear. I sometimes fear that I won’t end up living the life that I’ve envisioned for myself, or that I’ll never meet the right guy, or that I’m making a fool of myself on the internet (well, I kind of enjoying making a fool of myself on the internet but that’s besides the point). I’m more afraid of not reaching my goals than caring about what others will think if I go after them. I’ve been “different” my whole life, and I spent a lot of it wanting so bad to fit in, but one day in middle school I realized that being a bi-racial girl with an afro, a big butt and a twin brother in the suburbs of a college town in the middle of West Virginia wasn’t gonna cut it as “normal."

So I decided to embrace it and I’m definitely glad I did because it’s taken me far. Even when I’m tired, or feeling uncertain I take steps forward, because despite the occasional bouts of insecurity I know that one day I’m going to get to where I want to be (which includes a fine-ass, rich and loving manfriend/husband). It’s all about adopting that do or die attitude, and as extreme as it sounds, it’s what needs to be done if you want results. I’m not trying to get all new age on you, but if you really want something for all the right reasons, and are working towards it the Universe will conspire and meet you halfway to make sure your goals are met. I moved to NYC with absolutely no money, no friends and no job, and I’m here I am one year later with great friends, multiple streams of income and a beautiful one bedroom apartment - that’s not luck, that’s Devine intervention whether you want to believe it or not. 

Now I’m not this outrageously successful public figure turned rap star/ athlete who overcame a life of extreme poverty and disease, and there are many entertainers that I admire myself but sometimes what you need more than dose of fantasy is a dose of reality. I’m just like you, I’m your peer, I went to college and found that my degree doesn’t mean much, I’ve worked sucky office and restaurant jobs, and I’m not going to tell you that following your dreams is easy but I know for fact that it is worth it. I also know for a fact that if you want something you got to go get it, and give it your all while you do because you only get one shot at life and your life could end tomorrow. Hell it could end as you’re reading this sentence.  

So many people post Facebook statuses and Twitter updates about only living once and following your dreams but how many people are really doing just that? It’s easy to get inspired for a few minutes after listening to your favorite artist, or watching your favorite movie, but it’s time that you stay inspired, and that you get focused, and take positive action instead of day dreaming your life away.

Whether you want to be the world’s best chef, or school teacher, or hair dresser, or start a day care, or be a pop star, now is the time. Now is all you got. Set a clear plan of action for yourself, set goals and get shit done. Strive for excellence in everything you do and excellent is what you’ll be. Everyone has a different idea of what their perfect life is, and I’m certainly not going to tell you what that is, that’s up for you to decide. I just want to encourage and motivate you, and to let you know that you’re not a lone out there. 

And although it’s imperative that you set goals, and keep setting goals once you’ve met the previous ones, the most important thing of all is that you learn to love the process. Life is a journey, not a destination. There is so much beauty in everyday life, but you’ll miss it if you spend your time doing something you hate and not being present to take it all in. So to answer your question there is more to life, it just a matter of whether or not you’ll go out and see for yourself.

Okay, my brain hurts, and I can only be sentimental and meaningful for so long before I want to start talking about makeup and boys. So I’m out. I hope you gained something from this post. Don’t act like you didn’t. We gotta work on making the inside look just as good as the outside! 

Sexy is a LIFESTYLE.

That's all I got for now. Later Bitches.



Wednesday, August 8, 2012

10 Little Ways To Look Better

When it comes to your looks, a little attention to detail goes a long way. These are just a few tips on how to go from good to great. 

10.Keep Your Eyebrows Plucked- eyebrows absolutely make or break your face, you should really keep them shaped at all times. Nobody should look like they have 2 caterpillars on their forehead. Either buy a pair of tweezers or get them waxed or threaded by someone else. Not too thin tho, keep it classy.

9. Nix the Panty lines. This isn’t 1979, and panty lines are absolutely atrocious, if it’s that time of the month it’s a little more understandable but you can always wear a loose skirt or dress to cover those granny panty lines up. Otherwise it’s seamless boy shorts and thongs FTW.

8.Having Good Posture- For goodness sakes stand up straight! Sit up and walk tall and proud muthafucka! Slouchy is anti sexy in both men and women and is often the result of weak back muscles, try doing more back exercises in your work outs, and if you aren’t working out you betta start!

7.Whiten Your Teeth-  If you look in the mirror and see even a twinge of yellow you’re well overdue for a teeth whitening session. There’s no excuse to have yellow teeth. You can whiten your teeth with a 2 dollar box of baking soda or use an all natural product for $10 by Britenz.  You can’t even slightly justify having yellow teeth, you really can’t.

6. Keep Your Nails Did - Now I personally think that a woman should always have some form of polish on her nails, even if it’s a clear top coat. Maintaining your nails doesn’t take much time and boy oh boy does it make a difference. People see your hands all day, and even more importantly YOU see your hands all day, they should be worth looking at. TOES included.

5. Flattering Hair Cut- it goes without saying that you should always leave your house with your hair done, but if you have an unflattering hair cut it won’t matter if it’s done or not. The hair cut you want and the hair cut you need might be 2 different things, you should research which kinds of cuts go with your face shape, it really makes a world of difference.

4. A Touch of Make Up- I think all females should wear a little make up when stepping out of the house, especially if you’re single because you never know who you might meet and you definitely don’t want to look like shit if you meet someone great. A little tinted moisturizer, mascara, and lip gloss can go a long way. If you’re not really into wearing makeup I suggest you that head over to Sephora and play around and see if you feel the same way after you leave. You won’t.

3. Blingage- an outfit is only as good as the accessories you wear with it. You can turn a basic t-shirt and jeans combo from fugly and boring to super cute and fun with the right ring or necklace. And the best part about jewelry is that you can find ultra cheap stuff that actually looks good. Don’t get too avant-garde with it though, jewelry is meant to accentuate you not embarrass you.

2.Clothes that fit - If you’re swimming in your in your blouse or have a muffin top pouring out of your slacks your shit doesn’t fit right and you know it. It’s not hard to tell when clothes don’t fit because you can feel that they don’t fit. Clothes should lay nicely on your body, they should be fitted, comfortable and functional - but when in doubt choose looking good over comfort- this is the age of Facebook and nobody wants to look like shit on the internet.

1. Having a nice body- this isn’t a little thing, but I’m a personal trainer and exercise instructor so what do you expect. Truth be told, no matter how much make up you wear or how good your hair looks, the appearance of your body trumps everything. Looking like you’re out of shape has never been in. So if you aren’t on your working out/ eating right game now is the time to start.

Sexy is a LIFESTYLE.

That's all I got for now. Later Bitches.



Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Why You Shouldn't Count Calories

As far as I'm concerned counting calories just isn't necessary, and it's painstakingly difficult to do the right way. The FDA (a government agency that doesn't really give a fuck about your food or your health) tells us that we need about 2,000 calories a day - which is a huge problem to begin with because everyone's body is different.

 On the very most surface level it can be a great tool for people trying to lose or gain weight, but there's a lot more that goes into calorie counting than just the number.  Age, gender, weight, metabolism, lifestyle, genetics etc all play a factor in your specific formula for caloric homeostasis. But at the end of the day if you're eating a healthy,balanced,plant based diet with limited meat, dairy and sugar consumption you will you will fall into your natural healthy body weight and never have to worry about counting again. No need for "dieting" either. 

After doing some research I've gathered that the average-person-needs- 2,000 calories- a day- rule is most likely based off a sedentary white man who's about 5'8, 150 lbs and in his mid 40's since that is pretty much who is in the government and is the standard person the government models their health guidelines around. That definitely does not describe me, and probably not you or any other of my readers.  You can't tell me that every person in America from age 1-99 needs 2,000 calories, that's just impossible, and quite frankly I don't believe that there's such a thing as the "average person" there's too many different types of people in the world for all that. 


I eat mostly organic everything, yes it does make a difference, and I read the food labels throughly to everything I'm eating. Some days I might eat 1300 calories worth of vegetables and quinoa but the next day I might 2,300 of the same thing. Either way it doesn't matter because I know when to eat and when not to eat.  If you are disciplined enough to eat the right things and if you eat when you're hungry and stop when you're full,  workout 3-5 days a week, and drink enough water (6-8 glasses a day) you're not gonna get fat. When you eat small meals  and snacks like almonds and carrot sticks throughout the day, you keep your body metabolism boosted. When you eat things like white bread and Hersey kisses you're causing an imbalance of sugar highs and lows which will also make an impact on your metabolism thus hindering truly accurate calorie count.

The thought of giving food a numeric value in your body just doesn't make sense to me, and to stress about it everyday makes even less sense to me. 

 Calorie counting is way too complex of a system to track the food you're eating. The general gist of it is if you're trying to gain weight you need more calories, if you're trying to lose you need less, and if you're trying to maintain then that's just one big fuckery because the second you make a change in your lifestyle, or gain weight, or start working out more or less, or get older it all changes. So it's basically impossible to accurately count calories.

 Not to mention that not all calories are created equal - the source of your calories - whether they come from fat, fiber, carbohydrates, protein, meat, vegetables, soy - matters. The quality of your food also matters when it comes to counting calories; your body is going to process calories from organic celery way differently from calories from a Snickers Bar. The percentage of the ingredients you're getting your calories from also matters too when you're trying to get an accurate reading.

it's just too fucking much to deal with on a day to day basis. Why put yourself through it?

I used to be an avid calorie counter, so much that I can still ball park how many calories I've eaten on any given day without looking at a food label. I used to be on calorie counter websites all the time trying to figure out how many calories I've burned from my workouts out, etc. I was obsessed. Like, WTF. 

When I was first trying to lose weight that system was great, but it also made me feel weirdly guilty and contained. I did see results, but it was at the expense of my mental ease, it made eating a much bigger issues than it needs to be. I'm currently in the best shape I've ever been in my life and I don't count shit. I listen to my body and eat the right things.

 If you're eating REAL, natural, organic foods there's no need to count calories.  Eating bananas, and almonds, and brown rice, and black beans is not going to make you fat or give you diabetes.  And when it comes to getting your vegetables you really can't eat too much. 

 There's no special diets that you should be on, or Weight Watchers groups you should join.  Because when you set yourself up for a crazy dieting lifestyle like South Beach or Atkins you're pretty much destined to crash and burn. No matter what it is you're trying to achieve with your body you can't go wrong with eating the food that mother nature provides us. But you can go wrong with all the crazy, chemically/genetically modified, non-expiring garbage that is the majority of your typical grocery store. 

At the end of the day you get in what you put out. If you want to eat cheesecake for every meal then you'll have a cheesecake body. If you want to count calories like a maniac then you're going to be a maniac. If you eat natural organic foods, drink enough water, and get your sleep, and workout enough then you'll look fucking sexy.  The saying is true, YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT (can I get an amen?!)

So let me know what you think! Do you count calories? What works for you? Remember this is just my opinion ( but I am right about everything so keep that in mind)


That's all I got for now,

Later Bitches


Instagram:   AminaZena