AminaZena Blogs: How To Be Confident

I have a medium sized list of tangible achievements. Landing big roles in high school plays, beating my own personal records in cross country races, I've earned scholarships, graduated from college, became a certified personal trainer, moving to NYC. Blah, blah blah the list goes on.

But it's not these "accomplishments" that made me confident. I was confident therefore I achieved.

And I started to think about all the times I got what I wanted, I think about how I was so self assured. I'm not just talking about the big stuff like getting a job or an apartment. I think about the little things like how I was able to get a cab driver to take me somewhere for 10 dollars cheaper than he should've charged me, or how I was able to get in a club where I didn't know anyone at the door before all the people waiting in line, or how I can get pretty much any guy I want to wine and dine me and chase me for months on end without giving him so much as hug goodnight.

(My number 1 confidence jam)

And then I think about all of the times I failed and how it was pretty much a self fulfilling prophecy. All the times I've been rejected from jobs, or on my YouTube channel, or failed a test. Every single time I've been rejected or let down it's because I didn't think I was good enough, and that's definitely not the case the majority of the time, but it was in those moments of self doubt when I failed. You see where I'm going with this?

True confidence cannot be faked, that's called cockiness. True confidence comes from believing in yourself so much that other people will believe in you too. So how does one become confident? Why should you believe in yourself?

The real question is, why shouldn't you?

The most important step to be confident is to think positively. Stop saying I can't, instead say I will. Try it before you give up on it. So many times we tell ourselves we can't do something or that we shouldn't do something because we're afraid to fail, when in reality the only way you fail is by not trying. Write down a list of all the things you like about yourself and keep it somewhere where you can see it everyday. Just for a day let go for the fear and self doubt you've been clinging onto for so long and realize you're not so bad after all.

Decide that you are worthy of a great and wonderfully fulfilled life - not that you necessarily deserve it, but that you are worthy. Quite frankly you don't deserve anything you didn't earn. Just know that you as a person are worth great things and you can have whatever you work for. You were put on this planet for a reason, you have a purpose to serve.

But don't just talk about it, BE ABOUT IT. When you are engaged, and passionate and doing what you love something inside of you shifts. You feel alive, you feel assured, you feel as if you can do anything and no one can stop you. That's your confidence building up.

It's only when you start taking action and working on becoming a better person (or at least good at a certain task or trade) that you will be in a position to provide value to the world. When you bring value to the world is when you can start demanding certain privileges and treatment. Value doesn't always mean something you can make money from. Being a good listener, an upbeat person, a reliable friend; all these things add value to your life and the value you will be able to bring to others. You get what you give.

Looking good most certainly helps with confidence, and of course as a personal trainer I'm going to tell you to get in shape, walk tall and take care of yourself. Self grooming and having your own personal style matter, your outside is a direct reflection of what's inside, one does not outweigh the other. Think about the most confident people you know, they are probably some of the best looking people you know too. Healthy body = healthy mind = looking good = feeling good= doing good = confidence.

Make promises to yourself and keep them. If you make a promise to someone else keep it. Set standards, set the bar high and dedicate yourself to being the best version of you.

Being confident is not just state of mind, it's not just for celebrities and people who are in the limelight, being confident is a way of life. Waking up each day and being ready to go, ready to overcome obstacles and knowing that you are that bitch ( at least that's what I tell myself). Know your worth and know that you are awesome, be proud of how far you've come and excited to see how far you can go, don't be afraid to brag on yourself,stay humble and open to growth. Live and breathe that ish!

(Dancing like everyone is watching, that's real confidence lol )