How To Prevent A Hangover

“I’m never drinking again” <<----- yeah right.

how many fucking times are you going to put yourself through it before you learn?

 Being hung over is the biggest waste of time ever. You come home after a night (or in some cases an entire day and night) of drinking and your head is spinning. You stumble into your bed wearing your beer stained clothing and attempt to close your eyes but you can't, so you spend the next 15 to 20 minutes laying down and getting back up because you feel like you have to puke. You may or may not puke, it may or may not help.

You then make a few phone calls that you’ll regret in the morning, send a few inappropriate un-legible texts and finally end up falling asleep.  But it’s not that good wholesome deep sleep that your body so desperately is craving at this point.  It’s that I’m kind of awake-semi unconscious-ears-still ringing kind of sleep. 

You wake feeling like you got hit by a bus. You're hungry but you feel too sick to eat, you have a headache so bad the you don't even feel the effects of the 6 Ibuprofen tablets you took and you spend the next 7 hours laying in the dark thinking about how stupid drinking is and promise yourself you'll never do it again.

I just don't have the tolerance to do that anymore, I hate being hungover but I like to drink(in moderation) so I found a pretty fool proof solution. It's called eating food and drinking water.

Back in my college days I would go to the gym before going out, like I would seriously workout for 30 minutes to an hour, hop in the shower and start drinking. I didn't eat food or drink any water. Sure I got drunker faster, but that's just plain retarded and dangerous. Don't do that. Follow these steps instead.

Step 1:

You need to coat your stomach with fat. Alcohol is poisonous, and your liver takes a beating enough as it is so the fat helps to dilute the effects of the alcohol and slows down the absorption. So eat soemthing with fat- preferably plant based fat like olive oil.

 I love to eat while I'm drinking, I feel like my buzz happens a lot smoother, versus getting hit with it all at once. Drinking on an empty stomach is just gonna end up with you puking your guts out or even getting alcohol poisoning. More importantly, not being able to hold your liquor embarrasses you and your whole crew. Don't ruin everyone's night by being a Anorexic Alice/Sloppy Susan. You don't necessarily have to eat overpriced bar sliders like chicken wings and mini burgers either, you can eat healthy, just make sure something is in your stomach. 

Step 2: Drink water. They say that you should drink 1 glass of water per every alcoholic beverage you consume. I say drink 2 and then go home and drink an entire Brita pitcher full of water; that's what I do. I fill up my pitcher before I leave the house and drink the ENTIRE thing when I get home. It might sound a little OD but I would much rather spend 5 minutes chugging water vs 5 hours laying in bed like a dehydrated bitch the next day

Step 3: Eat again. Eat something when you get home, I usually have something that's in my fridge, some organic lettuce of I'll heat up some falafels. Of course there's always the option of going to a diner or getting a slice of pizza if you're a fat ass.

NEXT DAY

Step 1: Wake up and drink more water, coconut water,or Vitamin Water or something with electrolytes. It'll help rehydrate you even more and you will be more dehydrated than you think.

Step 2: Enjoy your day of not being hungover. I usually go on a run or something like that to burn off the excess calories. Or I might spend the whole day in bed just because I want to and not because I literally physically need to from being hungover. Some people smoke weed to help with any residual hangover problems but that's on you if you want to or not. Marijuana is clinically proven to reduce pain and isn't nearly as dangerous or toxic as alcohol which is why I suggested it. And let's face it; it's damn near legal so please get over the stigma already.

So I hoped this helped. Don't be the sloppy drunk girl turned internet meme at your next social gathering. 

That's all I got. Later Bitches.

XoXo, 

 AminaZena

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