Would You Stay With Your Boyfriend If He Got Fat?

True love is unconditional. Physical attraction on the other hand sure as hell isn't. 

I have a personal training client, let's call her Bethany, and I've been working with her for a few months now. She looked good before, but she's lost a lot of weight, dropped a pant size and is looking super toned (yes, it's my blog and I can participate in shameless self promotion all I want).  She tells me how guys at the gym are starting to notice her more now, and I tell her she should scoop one up. But the problem is she has a boyfriend, and he wouldn't be a problem if he took care of himself the way Bethany takes care of herself. 

When they met, he was an athlete, a football player with a super nice physique, which is a huge reason they are together. They had chemistry,the physical attraction was mutual, and their personalities clicked. But they've been together for 5 years and dude has completely let himself go;  his once brolik buff body now resembles the Pillsbury dough boy. Fucking bummer. 

Bethany even told him that the reason they haven't had sex in months is because she's not attracted to him anymore. She's tried being frank about it, tried being nice about it, she's tried just about everything to motivate him but he doesn't make efforts to change. She feels terrible about it, but I can't blame her for not wanting to have sex with a hippo. Her coworkers tried to tell her that she never loved him, but that's some bullshit if you ask me.

I would never date a guy who was out of shape - ever, EVER! First off, I'm a 10 so I expect my man to be a 10 too. Second  It's a character flaw; if you don't take care of yourself and value your health what the fuck do you care about? No amount of money, power, fame or material possessions can replace having a nice bangable body and good health if you ask me. They say love is about what's inside, but the outside is a reflection of what's inside. You can tell when someone is happy by the way they carry themselves, the way their eyes light up (or not) when they talk, the glow on their skin, and obviously their physique. You cannot convince me that a sane person would actually prefer to be morbidly obese or even just mildly out of shape and finds that to be a happy fulfilling lifestyle. 

I would rather be single for the rest of my life than be with a man who had to lift up his stomach in order to have sex with me. That's real talk. (not to mention big guys have smaller penises)

Now obviously not everyone agrees with my stance on this but I think she should break up with him, love isn't all about sex and physical appearance but it means a lot. She's tried to help him,she's tried to coach him, she's tried just about everything but there's only so much you can do when someone doesn't want to help themselves. I've even met other people in this exact same situation, and their significant other didn't make changes until they were dumped. When you're in a committed monogamous relationship sex matters a lot, and it some cases it is the glue that holds things together, and that's not a bad thing. You should be excited to see your partner naked, and not want to gag.  Humans are sexual creatures, it is a need and needs will eventually be met because they need to be - that's pretty much the reason behind why people cheat. 

And maybe you think I'm a bitch for saying all of this, but how would you feel if you were with a guy who looked like a model but had the personality of a paper bag? You would say break up with him and find someone who had a better personality. It's the same thing as dumping someone for not taking care of themselves and gaining 100 pounds in the course of 5 years. Looks matter people. They really do.

Bethany fell in love with an athlete who took his body seriously, not a 400 pound slob who doesn't give a damn about himself anymore. He's not the same person she fell in love with so why should she stay when he doesn't put in the work to make her happy?  We all deserve to be with a partner who is a reflection of ourselves, and if you're in the gym grinding you deserve a partner who's right there with you. If you're a slob you don't deserve to be with someone who has their shit together.  Bethany deserves to be with someone who has the same passion for health as she does, she deserves to be with someone who makes her melt, who has a rippling six pack and a great personality. It would be one thing if the guy broke his leg and couldn't walk or workout, but homeboy is lazy and that's a no-no.

So the question for you is would you stay with your boyfriend or girlfriend if they got fat and didn't try to change?   Do you care about your significant other's appearance as much as I do? Let me know what you think, I'm excited to see your feedback! 

Later Bitches

XoXo, 

 AminaZena

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